in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
