you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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