i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize