I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
