Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
