Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
