I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
