No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
