the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
