no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
