Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
