This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
