last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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