I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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