i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize