I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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