dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How's work?
Spinning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
