I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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