Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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