oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
