dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
