Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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