EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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