NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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