She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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