Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
