Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
