Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
