ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
