I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
