Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
