Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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