So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
