I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
