Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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