Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
