i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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