Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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