Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
