I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
