Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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