Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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