Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
