Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
two words...techno handjob
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
