I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
