We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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