I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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