sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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