he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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