You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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