Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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