I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
