There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
