So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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