I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize