Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
