he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
