Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
