two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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