you have to choose: penises or morals?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
