He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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