google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she told me i tasted like america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
